What is a voice?
What is my voice?
Constantly voices seep in
Controlling judgment
Making choices
Lost, Alone, Pathetic, never good enough
Where do these voices come from?
Inside my mind, driving me to . . .
To what?
It’s as if I’m no longer me
Was I ever me?
I know I have a voice
It’s just so silent
And gone
Too many opinions
Too many voices
To discover my voice would be . . .
No, I’d be alone
No one would ever listen
Hating myself for what?
Without a voice I am the same
With a voice, I’ll be different
Being different will bring upon darkness
Could it be that I’ve always been in darkness?
Could my voice bring upon a certain light?
Chapter One – For The Nights I’ll Never Forget
She stood there questioning. I don't think I can do this Aidaym thought. Aidaym was 17 and more powerful than anyone or anything in Wicket. By ten she was able to shift into anything. It was custom to be able to shift into 3 or 4 other forms but Aidaym was different, she was extraordinary but with all her power came expectations.
Expectations that caused her to lose sleep at night. Her parent’s believed that she would b the one to change everything. Only thing was Aidaym didn't want anything to change, she didn't want everyone to rely on her. All this pressure was causing her to shift into small helpless animals. Just the other day she shifted into a mouse when she'd been trying to shift into an falcon. She was able to change back to her human form without anyone seeing the catastrophe she was.
Even though no one saw, she was still disgusted with herself. That day she sealed herself in her room and said she was sick and just wanted to be alone. She spent the day shifting, shifting into anything and everything. She worked on shifting quickly into her first thought, she shifted into a mouse and a falcon and back and forth, a countless amount of times.
She was exhausted by midday but continued deep into the night. She had to get it right, she couldn't let what happen today ever happen again. She would never make a mistake like that again, it wasn't her it would never be her. She had to be perfect, it was expected. She finally stopped, looking at the clock it was two am, she walked over to the terrace and opened the doors letting the air flow in. She could breathe now, she heard a fluttering of wings fly into the room, she didn’t flinch or even glance over her shoulder “You have no idea, how long i’ve been waiting for you to open those doors” he said, His voice was amazing, Aidaym glanced over her shoulder to just look, she did it quickly but not too quick, she wanted him to notice. He was smiling.
Oh how she loved that smile, it was inviting and sly, all she wanted to do was run into his arms and just cry, she was beginning to lose it and he was the only one who truly understood her.
I saw you look
I was waiting
“Turn around” Emphraim said, finally speaking, he still had that smile on his face. Aidaym glanced at him with judgemental eyes
You would judge me? You would succumb me to your silence? What have I done to deserve this?
Never.
“I’m sorry, it’s not you. I just can’t do this anymore” Aidaym said, immediately regretting it, she didn’t want him to know she was weak, so she shielded her mind from him
You can’t do this? As if your the only one who this effects? And now you close your mind from me. I came here to see if you were okay and you insult me like this? You need to remember something Aidaym, I am just as strong as you. You can’t shield your mind from me all that well. You’re not weak, you’re just scared and that makes it impossible to have full control over any of your powers
Aidaym wouldn’t look up at him, she wouldn’t even send him a message back. All she wanted was to be held, to let her mind be free with his, she loved Emphraim, but knowing his secret hurt her, knowing that he was able to parade around being normal, knowing that no one kept him under a microscope and expected the world hurt. It made her want to scream. And knowing that he had more control of the ‘gift’ as her parents called was infuriating, she always asked if he could teach her to control it, make it better but everytime he refused and said she must learn on her own and that caused her to strive harder than ever to fix any mistake she made, like the one today. This was his fault, if he would just stop being stubborn and teach her, everything would be okay, she could be normal.
Normal? Really Aidaym? Do you truly believe if you learn to control it, you’ll be normal? This is exactly why I won’t teach you, your too emotional and scattered. You want comfort one moment and then you don’t want to be touched. You make it so difficult...
I MAKE WHAT DIFFICULT? I MAKE IT DIFFICULT FOR YOU TO LOVE ME? IF IT’S SO DIFFICULT WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?
No you don’t make it difficult for me to love you; you make it difficult to comfort you, to understand what you want from me. And I’m still here because I do love you, and I don’t want you hurting yourself or doing something stupid, that is why I’m still here. But your obviously not ready to talk, so i’ll see you later Aidaym, have a good night
And with that Emphraim shifted and flew out the window before Aidaym even had time to apoligize, she ran to the window and watched as he flew north, away from the castle, away from her. Everything rational told her to stay in her room and not let her emotions get the best of her. But her heart was screaming, just as she decieded to stay, her body morphed before her, turning into a phoenix and soaring through the sky after Emphraim, she eventually gained back the control of her body just as she was right behind him
Phoenix, hmm, an animal, of passion and strength. I have a feeling you didn’t do it
I don’t get it, I practiced all day and still I lose control
Emphraim laughed and shifted to match Aidaym’s form, but unlike Aidaym’s burning red and orange feathers, Emphraim’s feathers were a royal blue and black with a red tint, Aidaym watched him fly, God he was beautiful, magnificent even. She wanted to be mad at him for knowing that she didn’t possess the power to change into a phoenix on her own, she couldn’t come to do it
Your mind is much in control over your powers, and sadly your body just can’t help but want me
Oh you’re just so modest, where are we going on this fine night?
You tell me, your leading.
And with that Aidaym just flew, she stopped trying to control her power and let it flow through her, they flew for a while before anything was said
What is my voice?
Constantly voices seep in
Controlling judgment
Making choices
Lost, Alone, Pathetic, never good enough
Where do these voices come from?
Inside my mind, driving me to . . .
To what?
It’s as if I’m no longer me
Was I ever me?
I know I have a voice
It’s just so silent
And gone
Too many opinions
Too many voices
To discover my voice would be . . .
No, I’d be alone
No one would ever listen
Hating myself for what?
Without a voice I am the same
With a voice, I’ll be different
Being different will bring upon darkness
Could it be that I’ve always been in darkness?
Could my voice bring upon a certain light?
Chapter One – For The Nights I’ll Never Forget
She stood there questioning. I don't think I can do this Aidaym thought. Aidaym was 17 and more powerful than anyone or anything in Wicket. By ten she was able to shift into anything. It was custom to be able to shift into 3 or 4 other forms but Aidaym was different, she was extraordinary but with all her power came expectations.
Expectations that caused her to lose sleep at night. Her parent’s believed that she would b the one to change everything. Only thing was Aidaym didn't want anything to change, she didn't want everyone to rely on her. All this pressure was causing her to shift into small helpless animals. Just the other day she shifted into a mouse when she'd been trying to shift into an falcon. She was able to change back to her human form without anyone seeing the catastrophe she was.
Even though no one saw, she was still disgusted with herself. That day she sealed herself in her room and said she was sick and just wanted to be alone. She spent the day shifting, shifting into anything and everything. She worked on shifting quickly into her first thought, she shifted into a mouse and a falcon and back and forth, a countless amount of times.
She was exhausted by midday but continued deep into the night. She had to get it right, she couldn't let what happen today ever happen again. She would never make a mistake like that again, it wasn't her it would never be her. She had to be perfect, it was expected. She finally stopped, looking at the clock it was two am, she walked over to the terrace and opened the doors letting the air flow in. She could breathe now, she heard a fluttering of wings fly into the room, she didn’t flinch or even glance over her shoulder “You have no idea, how long i’ve been waiting for you to open those doors” he said, His voice was amazing, Aidaym glanced over her shoulder to just look, she did it quickly but not too quick, she wanted him to notice. He was smiling.
Oh how she loved that smile, it was inviting and sly, all she wanted to do was run into his arms and just cry, she was beginning to lose it and he was the only one who truly understood her.
I saw you look
I was waiting
“Turn around” Emphraim said, finally speaking, he still had that smile on his face. Aidaym glanced at him with judgemental eyes
You would judge me? You would succumb me to your silence? What have I done to deserve this?
Never.
“I’m sorry, it’s not you. I just can’t do this anymore” Aidaym said, immediately regretting it, she didn’t want him to know she was weak, so she shielded her mind from him
You can’t do this? As if your the only one who this effects? And now you close your mind from me. I came here to see if you were okay and you insult me like this? You need to remember something Aidaym, I am just as strong as you. You can’t shield your mind from me all that well. You’re not weak, you’re just scared and that makes it impossible to have full control over any of your powers
Aidaym wouldn’t look up at him, she wouldn’t even send him a message back. All she wanted was to be held, to let her mind be free with his, she loved Emphraim, but knowing his secret hurt her, knowing that he was able to parade around being normal, knowing that no one kept him under a microscope and expected the world hurt. It made her want to scream. And knowing that he had more control of the ‘gift’ as her parents called was infuriating, she always asked if he could teach her to control it, make it better but everytime he refused and said she must learn on her own and that caused her to strive harder than ever to fix any mistake she made, like the one today. This was his fault, if he would just stop being stubborn and teach her, everything would be okay, she could be normal.
Normal? Really Aidaym? Do you truly believe if you learn to control it, you’ll be normal? This is exactly why I won’t teach you, your too emotional and scattered. You want comfort one moment and then you don’t want to be touched. You make it so difficult...
I MAKE WHAT DIFFICULT? I MAKE IT DIFFICULT FOR YOU TO LOVE ME? IF IT’S SO DIFFICULT WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?
No you don’t make it difficult for me to love you; you make it difficult to comfort you, to understand what you want from me. And I’m still here because I do love you, and I don’t want you hurting yourself or doing something stupid, that is why I’m still here. But your obviously not ready to talk, so i’ll see you later Aidaym, have a good night
And with that Emphraim shifted and flew out the window before Aidaym even had time to apoligize, she ran to the window and watched as he flew north, away from the castle, away from her. Everything rational told her to stay in her room and not let her emotions get the best of her. But her heart was screaming, just as she decieded to stay, her body morphed before her, turning into a phoenix and soaring through the sky after Emphraim, she eventually gained back the control of her body just as she was right behind him
Phoenix, hmm, an animal, of passion and strength. I have a feeling you didn’t do it
I don’t get it, I practiced all day and still I lose control
Emphraim laughed and shifted to match Aidaym’s form, but unlike Aidaym’s burning red and orange feathers, Emphraim’s feathers were a royal blue and black with a red tint, Aidaym watched him fly, God he was beautiful, magnificent even. She wanted to be mad at him for knowing that she didn’t possess the power to change into a phoenix on her own, she couldn’t come to do it
Your mind is much in control over your powers, and sadly your body just can’t help but want me
Oh you’re just so modest, where are we going on this fine night?
You tell me, your leading.
And with that Aidaym just flew, she stopped trying to control her power and let it flow through her, they flew for a while before anything was said
